Coming Out of the "Broom Closet"

This article is going to be a bit hard to write due to how sensitive of a subject it is with me. I know that a lot of people have certain reasons as to why they like to either be in or out of the “broom closet” and I want to explore the pros and cons of both a little bit. I am going to start with my personal story then branch off, and I hope that it will give some of the newcomers to the path some insight so that hopefully they will be able to make the best choice for themselves. I have many different kinds of friends, some are in the closet, some aren’t. Some are peeking out, and some have the door locked and bolted. I understand greatly why some choose to stay in the “broom closet” because of the negativity and insensitivity I deal with on a regular basis, but then again I can agree entirely with someone who does what makes themselves happy and is out and proud.

When it comes to Paganism, and Wicca in particular, there is a great deal of stigma. A lot of people that don’t know much or even anything about the true meaning of the path seem to think that we like to sacrifice small animals, and dance naked in the woods while we chant the Christian Devil’s name. (This always makes me smirk seeing as Wiccans don’t even believe the “Christian Devil” exists seeing as we’re not Christian.) Lets not also forget the other horrible assumption that we think we are “straight out of the movie Witches” that think they can manifest and materialize whatever they want instantaneously whenever they want. As pleasing as this would be, it is entirely fictional. Everyone who is Pagan and Wiccan have different ways of practicing, and some are heavily enthralled in their beliefs, while others tend to let their spirituality and belief system take a back seat. Some are into practicing, and some aren’t. Each and every path is as individual as the person themselves. As for me, my spiritual belief system saved my life, so when people are insensitive because I’m wearing a pentacle around my neck instead of a cross, it tends to hit a nerve to say the least. I take criticism though with a grain of salt though, because just like other religions, such as Buddhism - not everyone is going to understand.

Now for a bit about my personal views when it comes to being completely out and proud with my beliefs. The best way for me to sum it up into one word when it comes to my beliefs and other people is “bittersweet.” I’ve had the most sincere comments made to me, such as “you truly inspire me, and I wish I could be more like you. So many people are so caught up with trying to keep up with the ‘Jones’’ that they don’t take into account what they truly care about, and its sad. You being so strong and standing behind your convictions and belief system is a beautiful thing, and I hope I can be more like you someday.” Now, this was actually said to me this morning, and it brought tears to my eyes, seeing as the responses I’ve been getting from the people I care most in this world haven’t been entirely supportive. Yes, I have taken into account that I don’t follow the most mainstream of religions, and not everyone has tarot decks on their holiday wish list, but even so - I know that I am one of the kindest, and most sincere people around and I know that they know I don’t do anything to harm anyone intentionally. Actually, ever since I found my path I have followed the “law of 3” karmic rule, and my belief system has made me a lot better and more aware of a person. When it comes to my beliefs I have had a wide array of comments ranging from the most compassionate things I have ever heard, to someone making that rude circular-finger motion next to their head trying to indicate I am a bit “off,” but in all sincerity, the reason I am so open about my beliefs is because I am proud of what it has done for me. I’ve gone through many traumatic situations in my life, horrible things that not many people experience, especially in the vast amount that I have, and I’ve never truly felt a sense of belonging until I found my path, so due to that - you can understand why it is so important to me. It literally has saved my life. I am even working toward becoming a spiritual counselor, because I am so passionate about what my belief system has done for me, that I want to help others invest in themselves just as much.

Now that I have expressed my personal views, I want to stress that when you do decide to come out and be proud of your beliefs, you need to be aware of the fact that you are opening a door - so both the good and the bad can get in so to speak. There’s no filter unfortunately when it comes to other people and how they feel about certain things, and they may express their distaste up front or passive aggressively, but I want you to know - what works for you is what matters. It is your life, and if you want to be a crystal-loving, tree-hugging, tarot-collecting, essential oil-hoarding hippie then I say go for it. However, you need to consider who should know about your beliefs and just how much you should share with them. For me, when it comes to my family - I just tend to skim the surface. I don’t like to delve too deeply because I don’t want them to say anything insensitive, and also, I don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable. Just like when someone starts bringing up their beliefs when it comes to Christianity, and starts spouting off different passages - I will respect them but I won’t be able to agree with them. Sometimes even when you do open up to the person you love most in this world - they may end up giving you an extremely painful response. You’ve got to carefully consider how much you want to share and with who. If you’re the type of person that can take any amount of criticism and don’t end up caring in the slightest, then I say express yourself completely freely if you desire, but certain people tend to get very protective and sensitive when it comes to their beliefs. There have been wars due to peoples religious beliefs, so needless to say, it can be a pretty sensitive subject to some. If you are one of those people, I wouldn’t be sharing every facet of your beliefs with just anyone. Especially when it comes to your workplace. I am fortunate enough to work from home, but when it comes to paganism in the workplace - I have heard some pretty painful stories. It is unlawful to discriminate against someones religious beliefs, and we are fortunate enough to live in a time where it is much more acceptable to be Pagan, but at the same time you could end up getting targeted for it, and it might just end up causing unnecessary drama. I know that is the one main thing I wish I didn’t have to deal with; the drama and insensitivity, so when you do decide whether or not you want to be out and proud about your beliefs, you should carefully consider every aspect of it.

Now for a story of someone that posted recently in one of my witchy groups that I am a part of. She was very secretive about her beliefs, especially when it came to her in-laws, and due to her pregnancy her mother-in-law decided to come and stay with her. Now, this woman for quite some time had been collecting books and had a well established B.O.S. where she was working on a baby blessing spell for the little one she was expecting. The mother-in-law took it upon herself to clean the house while the daughter-in-law and son were out shopping and ended up coming across her secret stash of witchy goodness. Sadly, the mother-in-law ended up putting everything in trash bags, and took it out to the dumpster. When the daughter-in-law came home and discovered what had happened she exploded, and tried to talk the landlord into opening the dumpster but he wouldn’t do it, because he insisted that the dumpster could contain biological waste. Situations like this are exactly why we need to deeply consider who we should be sharing things with, and even though she tried taking the proper precautions to ensure it would be a secret, it was still discovered and she ended up losing everything that was spiritually important to her, because her mother-in-law probably ended up thinking the worst. The daughter-in-law ended up making her mother-in-law leave immediately, and told her she could never return.

So, as you can see it can be a very big decision whether or not you should share your beliefs with someone. Some people can end up taking it entirely wrong, and think the worst possible thing, but if we can take the proper precautions and approach them in a loving manner, explain some facets about our beliefs, such as how we may like to meditate and that we may follow the “three fold law” with a light explanation, maybe it would be a lot better than that person stumbling across all that you hold dear and thinking the worst. You’ve got to take everything and everyone into consideration, seeing as each situation is different and certain people will respond in certain ways. Some people will accept you with loving, open arms while others will just shake their head and never talk to you again. No matter what though, you need to do what is best for you, and if you feel like you are “suffocating” and cannot be who you truly want to be, I highly suggest you take the steps to working on self-love and crack that “broom closet” door just a bit. In light and love always everyone, I hope this helps you and if you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to contact me. Brightest blessings!